Funniest Story EVER!

So my friend Jen and I were having a discussion recently on who sticks their foot in their mouth more and how bad. We kept going back and forth with horrible stories, each time trying to one up the other. Between the two of us it is amazing how many people we've each offended over the years ,not by being malicious, but by pure stupidity. I told her about my first visiting teaching experience in my Orem ward, with my new companion. Wanna hear it, hear it goes.
My companion and I met up at our first appointment and the lady was showing us how she was making over her kitchen. She had done a lot and had just a few more things to do and she was really excited about the results so far. We were both oohhing and ahhing over all her hard work when I pointed to the turquoise window frame above her kitchen sink and started laughing saying " I bet you'll be glad to get that thing painted". Turns out she had just painted it and was trying to pull the tiny turquoise flower color out from her newly pasted wall paper border. Dude, I tried to cover, but I'm sure she saw through me. The rest of the appointment was, shall we say...awkward. My companion and I then headed to our next appointment where we were to visit a lady who was less active. We sat for a while talking about our various home projects and I mentioned to her that I was "ragging" my nursery. (It's called faux painting now, but 10 years ago it was just ragging.) I was telling her how I had done two other rooms and even helped some friends do rooms in their house (remember your yellow bathroom Kaylene?) and she mentioned she just tried it in her boys room. She was saying what techniques she liked and didn't and for some reason I decide to go on a rant about people sponging dark colors over white walls. She sits there smiling and then says quietly "Oh, that's what I did". Are you kidding me? Twice in one day, in front of the same woman!! I was choking down both feet by this time.
My friend Jen then proceeds to tell me of her vacation to a southern plantation where they had Civil War reenactments and the staff walked around in clothes representing life in the south back then. They were having so much fun and participating in everything. The staff was great and made you feel like you were really a part of the past. During one of the reenactments she turned to the family standing beside her and noticed they were African-American. She immediately gets excited and asks "Oh, are you slaves?" thinking that they were participating in the show. When the man looks shocked she realizes he's a visitor as well and immediately starts to explain that she's really not prejudice, doesn't believe in slaves...yada, yada, yada. What more can she say? I laughed so hard I was crying, literally.

Yeah... she won!